Andrew Krucoff, internationally (if by "internationally" you mean all five boroughs) known celebrity (if by "celebrity" you mean people that he's gotten drunk with) interviewer agreed to speak with me after I threatened to expose his long battle with male pattern baldness. (Oh you thought that was his real hair?) I thank Krucoff for fitting me into his busy schedule.

1. What was the inspiration behind your YM interview series? (I like that it has the same initials as the semi-popular teen girl magazine I grew up with, because you often remind me of a semi-popular teen girl, and oh, how I longed to be that girl!)

I think I was on the rag, reading a Vanity Fair and thought, "Yeah, I can copy that."

2. It's my understanding that for a long time you mocked blogs, bloggers, blogging, or any variation on that theme, until you had a breakthrough last year and developed your own online presence. What changed your mind?

Let me refer to my mentor/intern, Chris Gage, who wrote this to me on December 11, 2003, 10 days after re-launching Krucoff.com as a "blog" (one month later re-named TheOtherPage.com):

Once upon a happy time, I knew a curmudgeon of Dostoevsky-ian talent and vitriol - an oily Penske-worthy player-hater - who took great pride in keeping his mouth shut. "Who gives a fuck what that blogger thinks" he'd rail to me as I turned away from his face to avoid the spit-beer flying from his gritted teeth. Alas, one taste of Dirk Benedick-level fame, care of Gawker, was all it took to erase the remaining bits of his memory that the coke and repressing-memory safety techniques hadn't gotten to. After finally caving in like a sinkhole in a flood-torn third-world cesspool about the great why-I-won't-get-a-cellphone debate, disparaging blogs was his last held anti-conforming conforming ideal. And then he figured out how to make page 2 on his personal site (the URL is his name, for fuck's sake!) and suddenly we are privy to his ramblings about real estate, travels, and the girl who won't fuck him.

Chris makes a strong case for my hypocrisy but this is my response and will stand by it until I get hit by a bus:

The curmudgeon would have killed himself before turning 35 if he didn't change. Plus, I've always loved whores, now I get to be one too.

3. You seem to be taking the media world by storm, what with attending fancy parties, hanging out with media darlings, and getting invited to completely socially relevant panels. Where do you go from here?

Are blogs considered media? But there's just 50 of us reading each other's site, right? The truth is, the storm is barely a solitary cloud on a bright, July afternoon. I'm more like a fart in the wind. I'll let you know when to break out the foul-weather gear if I ever start hanging out with fabulous people and get invites to fancy parties.

4. How many of the YM female interview candidates have you sexually desired at some point? How many males?

Trick questions get trick answers. I've desired all women at some point, the interview candidates being objects no more or less than the crazy old woman on the subway wearing an eye-patch. As far as my man crushes, Choire Sicha and I have a well-documented history. Unfortunately it all came to an end after his face was horribly disfigured in a lawnmower accident. He's repulsively ugly now and I cannot lie, I'm incredibly superficial.

5. How much do you love New York?

Probably as much as most people hate it.

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