Super excited the NY Times parenting blog picked up the Babble essay. Read it here!
And thanks to all for the comments, some more thoughtful than others. It is always nice to have people considering my thoughts, even if it is kind of scary too. I don’t usually read comments (or reviews of my books), but I admit I have been scanning this time around. I’m not sure why, exactly. This essay just feels really raw to me. (It’s not something like this, for example, where I used humor as a shield.) But it is nice to see that most people seem to have understood the intent.
It’s really quiet this morning for some reason, except for the truck traffic outside, and it feels like someone just gave me a present.
I loved your essay and congrats on the Times piece. I read all the comments on the Babble story and was really puzzled by some of the defensive parents on there. You wrote a thoughtful essay about a very real issue for people who are forced to live very close to each other. I really didn’t see it as an anti-breeder screed from a bitter single woman and I was pleased that most normal people didn’t either.
Honest and insightful essay. Your perspective is not one that’s usually shared.
I enjoy your writing immensely. It resonates with me on many levels. Please write more.
Wow! I read your babble essay yesterday through a link from feministe.com and I didn’t even realise it was you!
I thought your Babble essay was lovely, although I didn’t comment there (the comments on Babble tend to aggravate me, so I don’t read them). As a parent, I can imagine the stress of new parents worried about their baby disturbing the neighbors, and as a human being, I can imagine how disturbing their baby can be to you.
I thought you did a nice job of conveying the way their baby made you think about your choices in life. I’m sure the parents watched you leave the restaurant and had at least a fleeting moment of envy (please understand, I love my kids and I take them to restaurants, but every honest parent admits to envying the child free sometimes).
I hope you were able to find somewhere that evening to write in your journal in peace and that you and your neighbors will coexist peacefully for as long as you live so close together.
I have four kids- and loved your essay. Well said
HOpe you are getting some quiet time!
Thanks ladies! I really appreciate these nice comments. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
My darling Jami, you know I understand the baby-next-door issue better than most… but I’d never thought about the extra layer of emotion that would come from living next door to a screaming baby while simultaneously wanting, even just a bit, a baby of one’s own. Great essay. And the commenters being jerks are just jerks.
long time reader, first time commenter. I loved the essay and I have two kids. sounds like a tough situation and I hope you and the other family find respective comfortable living situations…hopefully without moving! its totally ok if you don’t want to get more involved. sometimes parents are super self-centered. But I am often envious of the child-free!