Please look at this picture of me and Pat Kiernan. We were both winners at last night’s Village Voice Web Awards ceremony, which is a thing that exists in the universe. I won for The Complete Story of How My Bike Got Stolen, How I Found it on Craigslist, and How I Got it Back.
OK, real talk? Award, shmaward. I mean it’s nice to be recognized for my writing in some way this year, because that little novel I wrote sure as shit wasn’t on any year-end lists. And it was definitely nice of the Voice to throw us all a party that I will be recovering from for the rest of the day. But seriously all I really care about is that I got to meet Pat!
For those of you who don’t live in NYC, let me explain: Pat is awesome. People get really into him around these parts, because he is funny and smart and makes the news more palatable and interesting and amusing which you would think would be easy to do but is not. And a lot of New Yorkers live and die by their news.
Listen, within 45 minutes on Sunday I saw Terry Richardson plus the crazy hooker chick from “Boardwalk Empire” and I didn’t blink. I have seen Philip Seymour Hoffman three times this year. (It is shockingly easy to see Philip Seymour Hoffman.) Jason Schwartzman’s bulldog walked over my foot this summer. Famous people in NYC, who cares?
But Pat! This is going to be my freaking Christmas card. If I did Christmas cards. Or Hanukkah cards. Or any kind of cards.
But still! Pat!