So basically I have just been working non-stop on tons of freelance work and my novel (still not done, thanks for asking, but still much closer to the end) and also at the bookstore on Sundays and I’m kind of beat I guess? Yea, I’m kind of beat. I don’t know if I’m making any progress. I need to make something happen.
I like when I work at the bookstore the best right now because there’s something actual tangible and real that I accomplish there, even if it is simply picking up a book and putting it on a shelf. Everything else I’ve been doing lately feels so imaginary. My book is not finished and anyway I’m describing something made-up and even when I do finish and hopefully sell it, it will still be another two years (give or take) until it becomes something you can actually hold in your hand. And the freelance gig is just me creating another website and we all know how real those things are. (THEY ARE NOT REAL AT ALL.)
What else is going on? I hosted another reading at my house, this time for Vanessa Davis and Ted Travelstead. I went on a date. I bought a really cheap shirt and some semi-expensive makeup. I walked around in the rain a lot. I learned how to work with new people. I went to yoga, because I am always going to yoga. I watched “All About Eve” and identified in a really deep way. I went to a book party for the very enthusiastic and talented Sara Marcus. I read a couple of books. I thought about getting older. I noticed new lines under my eyes. I admired my arms. I contemplated my 40s. I wished I were smarter. I promised to work harder. I promised myself I would be better for the millionth time in my life.
