Delicacies in the back of the car service to New Jersey
This morning I was chatting with a friend about how I really appreciate it when a guy tells me that he has a girlfriend within the first ten minutes of conversation. I used to hate it when a guy did that because I thought it meant that he assumed I was hitting on him.
Now I don’t care what he assumes because it’s not my problem. I like to have all the information about every person I meet. But more importantly, I just think of it as a sign of respect for his girlfriend.
My friend said she understood my line of thinking, but at the same time she believed flirtation made the world go round. She said, “It is not only fine for people in relationships to flirt, but that flirting is an important part of the social contract and is a good in itself that makes the world better.”
Last night I talked to another friend about how she would feel if her boyfriend was flirting with another girl and she said, “I would cut his balls off.”
I’m no innocent, at least I haven’t been in my past. During my last relationship, I had a flirtation with a guy who lived out west. Our paths crossed occasionally at various cultural events, and we would have these weird, fanciful, highly enjoyable conversations that involved very little to do with our personal realities. He was funny and smart and impressive. He looked at me admiringly and I enjoyed the way that felt. I knew what I was doing was wrong even though I wasn’t cheating. I just really liked the way he looked at me. He looked at me with fresh eyes.
Once we walked across Manhattan for an hour late at night and took the subway together and shook hands at the end of the ride. At any point I could have said, “You know I have a boyfriend, right?” But I did not. We were in a bubble.
When I was finally single, we went out on a date that went from sublime to disastrous. It was better not to have popped that bubble. I still think he’s great though.
Oh, I get it. I get why you do it.
I get it!
But that doesn’t mean it’s right.
