I feel so sorry for Rome, being so ugly and normal and boring
It was a hell of trip to get here. Trains, planes, automobiles, etc. The only good thing about it is I kind of rebooted and am now pretty much on the European clock. But I had to really have my head in the game for that whole experience: night flight, five hour layover in Amsterdam, train to the Termini station, and a rip-off artist cab driver who dumped me in the dark with only the vaguest of directions. “That way, two blocks.” Or was it: that way, five blocks, and then left?
Yes, it was.
I was too beat to do much of anything so I took a bath, made myself stay up for two more hours, and then crashed. I got up at five and then just stayed in bed, fiftully napping, until the sun rose. I decided today I would just try to uncover the lay of the land, but of course I ended up walking half the city, not because I got lost, but because I just kept seeing cooler things in the distance. I walked for hours. I didn’t go into any of the massive displays of art/culture/architecture/history/holy-shit-is-that-really-the-Coliseum? because I’m here for ten days and I was just trying to wrap my head about how to get around everything. But I think I got the metro and bus system down, I got my week transit pass, and I bought some fruit at Campo de ‘Fiore. And some wine for like, a nickel at the corner store. I’m getting comfy.
There’s a lot of goddamn tourists here. I know, I know, I’m one of them. But wow, there’s a lot of them. Folks who work in the city are polite, but also seem to be mildly gritting their teeth at everyone. I got whistled at some, but not too much. It was the gypsies that were the biggest downer. They all look pretty diseased and they’re totally in your face. I’m all right at saying no to them, but I can’t say I won’t end up paying one of them a euro just to go away at some point during this trip.
I’m staying in a more neighborhoody zone, at my friend Roberto’s apartment. I thought it was quiet and serene here, but then as I was walking back, there were some punk-ass kids throwing fireworks all over the place, and just as I rounded the corner I saw the most amazing altercation. This middle-aged woman was backing out of a driveway, and this younger man had apparently been trying to pass her and I guess didn’t see her. They didn’t hit each other, but they were yelling at each other, and then finally when he tried to drive around her, she backed up even further into the street, just enough to piss him off. So then he rolled down his window and totally lost it, and then she just started setting off her car alarm whenever he raised his voice. It was spectacular. I went inside just to get away from the noise but I could have watched that insanity forever.
Oh, one final thing: at the very end of my walk today I felt like I couldn’t go a step further, and then I thought to myself, What about gelato? So I got some strawberry gelato, and I swear to god it made my pain go away for the fifteen minutes I needed to get home. GELATO HAS HEALING POWERS.
I’m just saying.
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I wrote a piece for Double X called “Schrödinger’s Cake.” (I love the title!) Read it here.
