I don't often look back in this journal (I'm not nearly as self-obsessed as one might think), but New Year's seems the time to indulge myself. I had a feeling that I haven't accomplished what I set out to do last year, but instead have let myself come up with a whole new list. I think that's good, I guess. I think I'm better off this year. At least I've got my own place now. And now I think I can fill in the blanks a bit on everything I glossed over one year ago.
So let's see what secrets I can reveal...
enough. bye. or The Sleepiest Girl In The World. It looks like I was just starting to work my ass off at the ridiculous job that I still have today. (I vaguely reference my exhaustion at the end. ) I think I'm doing better though. Last year I pretty much worked straight through the holidays, and this year I actually took a few unpaid days just to establish a little sanity. I wrote less and less about my career this past year. Probably best, though I'm sure my friends wish I had another outlet besides them.
i'm stumped. or Poor Amanda You know, I really liked writing this Amanda, My Imaginary Assistant stuff, but once I got my shit together (and by this I mean, started saving money, quit smoking, stopped partying as much, and stopped hanging out with Will, who was so not good for me), I didn't really have a need for her anymore. I wrote it all out. I think that's good and rare, and I'll take it, thanks.
christmas cheer. or Christmas in DC. The irony of me writing about observing someone else talking about how dysfunctional their family is, is that of course my family is totally dysfunctional too. I almost never write about them unlesss I have something nice to say out of respect for them, because I do love and respect them. But we've got issues. Oh yea.
agreeable men are so hard to find. or Agreed. This guy ended up being a total freako stalker who would stand on street corners outside of outdoor cafes staring at me. It was such a sweet story, initially. And then he just sucked.
goodnight, sweetheart, oh, it's time to go. or The Truth. Oooh, this was a good little story. I mean, a bad one. So a year ago I was having this affair with this wee bit older, totally brilliant man who was living with his girlfriend of four years. We'd been friends for a while and had resisted our attraction, but then, one night, we got drunk and it was kind of all over.
He told me he was going to leave her. Fortunately it only lasted a month before I really started hating myself (and him.) Yes, it lasted right up to the point that he told me he was going on vacation to Europe with her. "To figure things out." I hate being a cliche. He did end up breaking up with her in the spring, but whatever. Anyway, a year later, I'm dating someone equally as clever with no pre-existing attachments, as far as I can see (It's one of my new requirements.). I do learn sometimes.
lovely roomie. or Roommate Love. Best Things about 2001? Quitting smoking, traveling to Europe and the West Coast this summer, receiving two well-deseved raises, and getting my own place.
Worst Things about 2001? Resuming smoking, resuming work after my summer vaction, 9/11/2001, and losing my relationship with my old roommate. A year ago there was love and now there is not. Now there is a hole. Maybe next year we can fill it.
Thanks for another great year, y'all. I turned 30 this year, and I will never forget it. I will never forget any of it. I appreciate all of your kind mail and support, particularly during the WTC tragedy. I am still sad every day about what happened. We are all so lucky to be alive.
Have a great New Year's Eve. Kiss someone at midnight. Rock hard but safe. Be kind. Thank you.