Fuck you Robert Downey Jr for being so fucked-up. It's just so pathetic. Did you know the first time he was arrested he had heroin, marijuana, Valium and cocaine in his system? Does he want to die? No, really. Let's go down, down, down, and then really, really up. Whee! This time he had meth, coke, and freaking guns in his possesion. Guns, for Christ's sake. Memo to Bobby: Try alcoholism. At least you'll pass out before you purchase any weaponry. And I watched Ally McBeal tonight because he's so scrumptious, with those big doped-up doe eyes, and I wanted to hurl something at the screen, much as I have wanted to hurl something at every friend of mine who has ever had a drug problem. I've been watching him since he was in Weird Science, when he first perfected sexy teen smarmy. He's not going to be happy till he's dead. Moron. I'd do him.

David Blaine, on the other hand, is a guy who could actually use a little toke off a joint before he figures out his next little adventure. He needs to start slacking before he does something really stupid. Or maybe he won't be happy till he's dead either. I saw his encased in an ice block freak show today in Times Square. Creepy. Weird. Cold. It looked there might be potential for brain damage, perhaps something similar to the brain freeze you usually get from a Slurpee, except on a grand scale. He'd better be getting paid well for this. A couple hundred people were gawking and shaking their heads in front of the storefront window. Blaine shifted his body as if in slow-motion. He was shirtless. He wore a hat. He looked skinny and grungy and focused. The potential for death was medium to high. I'd do him.

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