Been running around a lot the past couple of days, and I'm finally catching up now. I should be better organized, but my imaginary assistant Amanda is totally useless. I know she's new on the job, but should she actually be making me less productive? But I'll get to her in a minute.

I went with Cinde to the Digital Pulp 5-year anniversary party on Thursday night, and had a great time. I did manage to annoy a millionaire, but that's nothing new. I had no idea he was a millionaire when I started to annoy him, but I really think it's just an instinctive thing anyway.

I was introduced to him by my friend Young Sarah, who works at DP. He's a client of hers - the head of the committee to bring the Olympics to New York in 2012. Well that sounds like a cool job, I thought to myself, but of course I had no idea it was like, a big, important, job, which it most assuredly is.

So he asked me what I do, and I told him. He asked me if I've learned anything interesting in my research, and I was like, "Boy have I ever," and launch into an interesting theory about leg men versus breast men. After I'm done, Cinde turns to him and says, "Which one are you? A leg man or a breast man?"

Maybe it was more like a tag team effort to annoy the millionaire. We didn't know it would annoy him. I swear.

Turns out he's the managing partner of a $1.6 billion investment partnership, on the board of like freaking everything in New York, and apparently a Friend of Bill. And I'm lecturing him about men's fetishization of breasts and legs.

On the plus side, it was nice to meet a married man in New York who actually fulfills your expectations of what a married man should act like, which is, not flirtatious. On the down side, I'm wondering how comfortable he is with his sexuality.

But I'm no therapist, not me. I'm just saying, Cinde asked him a simple question.

Later on Sarah said, "I probably should have warned you - he's one of the most powerful men in New York."

Ah, who am I kidding? I would have talked about sex anyway. That's all I can think about these days.

Anyway, I danced my ass off to 80s music, and drank a lot, and then Steven and Bobby showed up, and we all danced some more and closed that party down. And then I was useless yesterday, and my legs hurt a bit because I danced so much, but it really was one of the best dot com parties in recent memory.

I tried to get my imaginary assistant Amanda to do some of my work for me yesterday, but she wasn't having it.

She's all, "I've still got all this filing to do. You can't expect me to go to fetish stores when I've got to go through all your receipts."

And I was like, "Amanda, the filing can wait. I need you to go check out some dildos."

She slammed down the box of receipts, and said, "I am trying to organize your life here."

And I said, "I realize that, imaginary assistant Amanda, and I want you to do all that, but I am too hungover, and somebody has to go look at dildos."

And then she gave me a dirty look, and stormed out of my apartment. Later on she called me and said she was sorry, but that she had broken up with her boyfriend, and every time I said the word "dildo" it reminded her of him.

At which point I got off the phone with her, because I really didn't need to know why.

She's only been here for a week and is showing signs of stress. I don't know if she's going to make it or not. But you know, she interviewed really well.

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