I'm slumped on my couch, staring at the speckled ceiling of my apartment, when George calls. It's dinnertime where he is, and approaching bedtime for me. I'm a zombie. It's been a long, fruitless day.

"I just have to ask you one thing - did I freak you out the last time I called?"

What? Why?

"About the me coming to town and fucking you thing."

Oh. No. But can we please talk about something else please?

"You don't want to see me?"

I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But I don't really have to give you an answer right now, do I?

"Is something wrong? Are you mad at me? You sound funny."

They cancelled my project. Or delayed it, or whatever. But I'm sure it'll be cancelled for good. And now I have no work, and even less of an idea of how to find more.

"Bummer. Are you broke?"

I'm sort of broke. I'm approaching broke. I mean, I could live forever off of my credit cards. They just keep giving me more credit without me even asking. Just the other day I got a letter in the mail from one of my cards that said, "Congratulations! We've doubled your credit line!" I want to tell them to take it back but I don't think they would listen. I don't need the temptation. Anyway, I'll be broke soon enough. I've got all these weddings coming up, and rent, and health care, and you know, life.

"Do you want me to send you some money?"

I laughed. At last, a sugar daddy. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that sooner. I'd been looking for one for years.

No George, that's ok. It's my responsibility to take care of myself, not anyone else's. But I appreciate the thought. I'll just have to give up some luxuries for a while. That's the way it goes when you decide not to work for a summer.

"Well see that's why you should definitely see me when I come to town. Let me take you out, spoil you. You could stay the night in a fancy hotel room. We could order breakfast in bed. I can like, eat eggs off of your naked body."

Ew.

"OK, I was getting a little ahead of myself there with the eggs thing, but I really want to see you."

I told you I'd consider it, George.

George was starting to piss me off with his repetition. The first time someone asks is always flattering, and the second time can be cute, depending on the tone and manner, and the third time always, inevitably, starts to get annoying. A man could be asking you to dance, or sleep over, or fuck, doesn't matter what it is exactly, but if they need to go to three times, they're probably going to get a big, fat 'no.' Three times stinks of desperation. Nobody wants to be with someone who is desperate, and even though I'm down on my luck right now, I'm still not desperate for anything - sex, cash, or a night out on the town. I can survive poverty. I don't know if I can survive a night with George.

"It's just that, we haven't seen each other in so long. I'd really like to see you."

Hey George, how's your girlfriend?

I was taking a new tack. Ladylike didn't seem to be working.

"She's fine. Last night she drank too many Tequila Sunrises down at our local and she took off her shirt and bra in front of my brother. I would have told her to go home but she was too drunk to drive. I was going to make her sleep on the couch but she spent the entire night in the bathroom anyway, puking."

Sounds like a charmer. George --

I shifted on the couch and paused.

George, why are you with her? Seriously.

"I've been with her so long I can't remember what it's like to be with anyone else. And anyway she needs me. She's a fuck up. If I broke up with her she'd go completely insane."

I had no idea you were a savior.

And then I thought: people do things like that, don't they? They stay in relationships - both good and bad - for so long they can't see outside of them anymore. I guess I do the same thing sometimes, being as good as I am at being single. I can't figure out what being in a relationship would feel like anymore. And I don't know if I would be able to handle one if it came along, because it would be so far outside of my comfort zone.

"I can save you too if you'll let me."

Enough George.

"All right I'll back off. For now. But if you need anything, you let me know, ok?"

"Yes thank you George. You're a true gentleman."

But he wasn't. He was a man, yes, but there was nothing true about him, even though he was perhaps more honest than myself. And as for gentle, well, I can't imagine he would treat me delicately at all. I think he would be quite rough, which, unfortunately, I would like.

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