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05/23/01 I'm all white-trash looking right now, wearing a short, cut-off denim skirt, and a black velvet tanktop. I'm braless. Earlier I was scrubbing my tub, and my skirt bunched up over my thighs and ass. My eyeliner is all smudged, and my hair is frizzing out in tendrils because of the humidity. I feel like Neve Campbell in Wild Things, except not nearly as sexy, skinny, or psychotic. That's right, my friends, cleaning my bathtub in inappropriately skimpy clothing is the closest I'll ever get to feeling like Neve Campbell. Fuck it. I'll take it. Had lunch with former co-worker Faith today, after months of mutual cancellations. Faith is sort of special, and I've written about her on occasion, featuring her way back when in one of my favorite (and first )Ironminds pieces, Party.com. I started at my former employer a good two years ago, and left a year ago, almost to the day, and of my former co-workers whom I was really close with, she is one of two left. The rest have gotten have fired or laid off or quit (mostly fired and laid off, to be honest), and I'm pretty sure they're all much better off for it. Faith is still there, and has been lavished with promotions, raises, and a new, bigger cube. She is treated well, and adored by everyone, so any sort of negativity in the office doesn't impact her, except of course, that she's surrounded by a bunch of unhappy people. She is always positive, though, and I know if she weren't there, that company would completely go to hell. That said, if I owned some sort of entertainment, design, or new media company, or if I had any sort of hiring power, I would grab this woman up in a New York minute. It's not as if I haven't tried a million times (I've discussed her qualities at length with my boss), but she has stayed loyal. I consider myself one of the best new media producers in New York, and she's easily my equal, if not my superior, because she's instantly likeable, while I'm just sort of instantly memorable. It's fair to say she was always a good cop to my bad cop, though I think the bad cop quality has an appeal, as well. At least I get to be bad. She came down to see my new office, which I'm really enjoying. (My boss was very clever in offering that particular perk to me just as I began to consider my exit. I can't help but love the fact that I get more sunlight there than I would if I were working at home in my windowless living room. And that big desk, and an entire wall of bookshelves, and, and, and...Oh, I'm such a whore. But you would like it, too. Admit it.) I showed her some of the video work I had done, and I told her about the work environment. And then I took her to lunch. I enjoy taking people out for meals, more than say, buying someone drinks all night, (and appreciate the same in return, in case anyone's interested.) It feels more substantial to me. While there's probably more camraderie involved with drinking, and it lasts over a longer period of time, I think there's more to be gained intellectually and emotionally from breaking bread with someone, even if it's only for an hour. I like the idea of taking responsibility for that moment. We had sushi and talked business and did the industry gossip thing for about fifteen minutes. And then she said, "OK, enough of that. What's going on with you?" A mutual spilling commenced, which, if the sushi restaurant were a shoreline, and our spilling were composed of oil, not words, we would have a had a regular national disaster on our hands. As it was, we had a good old fashioned reality check, the kind that can only come when two good friends meet after a being apart for a whle. What has she been doing for the last three months? She moved in with her gorgeous, older, restauranteur boyfriend, for one. She launched two high profile sites. She laughed her infectious giggle. She hugged people. She shopped. She read, exercised, and made direct eye contact with everyone she spoke to, with the exception of those she communicated with over the phone. And even then, I'll bet she had a tiny picture of them in her mind. What have I been doing for the last three months? I had sex with two different people. I ended an unealthy relationship, and only feel stronger as every day passes. A week could go by now, and he wouldn't cross my mind, unless a friend brings him up so they can check to make sure I still haven't spoken with him. Next it will be months. And then, suddenly, poof! It will be as if he never existed in my life, except as a warning for future relationships. (Faith was relieved to hear this had happened. She, like all my other friends, had always disliked him.) Also I launched, built, maintained, wrote, and edited a site that gets so much more traffic in a day than this site got all last year combined that I can't even believe I'm bothering to compare the two. I made other people laugh, more than I laughed myself. (Admittedly it's hard to make me laugh.) I hugged people. I shopped. I read, sat on my ass, and yes, I met others' eyes with my own whenever possible. Oddly, it was only as we were finishing the meal, that I remembered I had quit smoking, which, just a few weeks ago, would have been the first thing out of my mouth. "This is how I know this company is good for me," I said. "I quit smoking while working there. I never thought I'd be able to do it before." Faith thinks I should stay there for a while. I think she should leave her job as quickly as possible. Are we both right? My magic 8-ball says, "Check back later." I've a feeling her loyalty and sense of community will outweigh any desire I might have for her emancipation. She walked me back to my office and we were close while we walked. She's so wonderful that I almost can't explain it; she is definitely a rare gem in New York City, or at least in my life. She's goodness and light and warmth all wrapped in one enthusiastic, caring, articulate package. How do I explain? When she walks next to you, she invariably touches you in some way, as if just talking to you and smiling at you isn't enough. Today she wrapped her arm around me, and gently but solidly squeezed my upper arm, massaging it just a bit with her finger tips. And then she told me that when she had called me that morning to confirm our lunch date, she had wished at that moment that we were sitting together, having a coffee. Faith has the power to embrace people in countless ways. There I go again spending too much time on this site talking about how wonderful my friends are, but I think it's a nice balance to my usual whining, complaining, and criticism. You should all be appreciative of your friendships, and if you're not, you need to check your shit. |