I am the crankiest bitch in the world right now. I have been starting shit right and left, and you know what? I don't even care. Unless you're going through the exact same thing I'm going through right now, there is no way in hell you could possibly be more right than I am, no matter how right you actually are. So, are you on day nine of no smoking? Are you? Then sit down, and shut the fuck up.

Instances of today's bitchiness include the following:

• Walked by someone I know but don't like on the street and, when he waved at me, looked right through him as if he were made of an incredibly cheap plastic substance.
• Started a mostly unfounded fight with Will, via email no less, involving something to do with his level of interest in our phone conversations. He was bewildered. That said, I'm sure I owe him shit for something he did in the past and let him get away with at the time, so I feel little regret for this particular act of bitchiness.
• After my writer in L.A. called me three times in less than five minutes, I told him not call me anymore in a very loud voice. He probably deserved it retroactively too, but I had my office door open, and there's no need to subject others to that volume level.
• I sent a mean letter to a writer I barely know about his crappy article that he published on a crappy website. I still think it's a crappy article, but it wasn't a very nice thing to do. I actually apologized for that last one, and he may have even understood my point in the end. Still, total bitch move on my part.
• In most face-to-face conversations I had with co-workers today, if the other person speaking was discussing something that wasn't directly related to me, I stopped listening, and just nodded a lot. I didn't get busted once, probably because they were probably just talking at me anyway and didn't give a shit what I thought.
• Almost all of my IM conversations revolved around me and my needs and problems. If anyone tried to bring up another topic, I would simply type on about what I wanted to talk about, until my IM partner was forced to respond to my discussion. I overpowered them with my 80 word a minute typing speed skills. I am evil.

Day nine and counting. Thinking Zyban might have been the way to go on this one.

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